2014: The year that was…

How are we at the end of 2014 already?! It seems just yesterday we were welcoming in 2014, and now we find ourselves in the final days.

Looking back on the last 12 months, I’ve learnt a lot. I’m a very different person than I was a year ago. But I believe this is all for the better. I believe in myself and my abilities more than I ever have.

I’ve also had opportunities throughout the year to free myself of people who aren’t good for me and have gained some new friends who are fast becoming important people I my life. This hasn’t always been easy, and there were parts of the year that I really struggled with the things I was dealing with and the people making my life difficult.

My proudest moment of 2014 would be completing Dry July and being a part of raising money for adults living with cancer. I signed up for Dry July in the memory of my dear friend, Lucy, who fought her cancer battle as hard as she could, but sadly she lost her fight in 2012. Lucy was my inspiration for Dry July and her memory encouraged me every one of the 31 days.

I was lucky enough to visit the Gold Coast twice this year. Once in March, and again in October. I love it there! Such a beautiful city. Brisbane too, is something special. So very different to Sydney. The people at different, the lifestyle is different and the cafes offer lactose free milk (it really is the small things, folks!)!

Some Gold Coast highlights were:
Seeing the 2018 Commonwealth Games countdown twice…I captured that moment both visits. Same countdown, same position, just 7 months apart!

This woman is just amazing. There’s really no other words. She’s funny, caring, encouraging and just all-round fabulous!

Then there’s this little dude…I love him!

A bus that goes on the water as well as the road! Suspension on the road was a little rough…but it was fun!

Back at home, throughout the year from about April, I found myself studying. In preparation for me eventually working for myself and owning my own business, I have a Diploma of Management. I graduated in November. I did the whole cape and cap for the gradation ceremony and everything! Even with it being the 2nd time I got dressed up for a graduation ceremony, it wasn’t any less exciting.

This year I was lucky enough to strengthen my friendship with my American friend, Lisa. Our chats have quickly become a highlight of each day and we even exchanged gifts! She is a beautiful human being and brings a lot to my life.

So, 2014, you’ve been full of the good and the bad…mostly, it’s been ok though. Thank you for the lessons I’ve learnt and for the chance to rid my life of some toxic people. For this reason, I am thankful for the negatives! I’m also grateful for the fun times and my moments of success.

There’s been certain people throughout 2014 that have been full of love, encouragement and support. These people have been my rock, a listening ear, a source of advice and a shoulder to cry on. I am so thankful for each and every one of these people and am full of love for them all. Most notably, Kellie, Debbie, Mitchell, Brendan, Casey and Zoe. Thank you for everything you gorgeous people! Much love and gratitude always.

Also thank you to everyone who’s read my blog, left a comment or shared a post on social media. The unending blog support I’m getting means the world!

As we get to the end of another year, I look back on the good times and take the lessons I learnt into the new year. I look forward to sharing 2015 with you all. Hopefully it’s a good year for all!

Here’s to the end of 2014 and the beginning of 2015!

Sometimes teachers aren’t who we expect.

There’s people in life who we expect will teach us things – parents, grandparents, older siblings, and school teachers to name a few. It’s these people who we expect to learn our big life lessons from.

It’s not always the case though. Yes, our families quite often teach us what we need to know in life, but other people come into our lives and leave their imprint. This is one of those stories.

Over the last 12-18 months, I’ve been lucky enough to hear stories about the dad of someone very close to me. He died before my 1st birthday, so unfortunately I never got to meet him and never got to hear him tell stories, but rather I get the stories from his daughter who is very dear to me.

It started innocently enough, she was telling me about her dad and how he passed away. I saw some photos and got an insight into life before his passing. But, it wasn’t until we spoke about him more and more, that I realised just how much of an impact he was having on my life.

I found myself thinking “that’s something he’d tell me” or “what would he advise me to do here?”. And on some level, it feels like I can almost hear him reassuring me that the decisions I’m about to make are the right ones.

Through the stories I’ve heard and the discussions we’ve had about him, he’s taught me valuable lessons too. I’ve been told that in life he was a great teacher. His legacy and the memory of him is an equally great teacher. You hear a story and hear about his life, and every time, there’s something that can be taken away and implemented in life.

The biggest one would be, through hearing his story and having his youngest daughter in my life, he’s taught me to trust in myself and believe in my abilities. Gaining that belief and trust in who I am has opened up so many opportunities in my life; and daily I’m extremely grateful for having him touch my life through his memory. These opportunities wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for him.

Every day his memory guides me to learn more about myself and I use this to become a better person.

I was thinking about him in bed this morning, and I realised that I never thought any of this would happen, but now that it has, I’m so thankful and consider myself very lucky. I’ve learnt some very valuable lessons just through the stories about someone who passed when I was a baby. One of the teachers in my life passed away all those years ago, but his memory and legacy lives on through his family and those who knew him and continues to reach people just like me! For that I’ll always be blessed.

To my friend (she’ll know exactly who she is) – thank you for sharing your dad’s life and his story with me!
To her dad – I wish I got the chance to meet you. I really do! I’d love to have the opportunity to sit and listen to you tell these stories. Thank you for everything!

Musings of a wander through Martin Place

Last Monday, Martin Place in Sydney was the location of the horrific Sydney Siege. And yesterday, I took a walk through Martin Place.

The show of human compassion and love was just incredible. Being right in the middle of Sydney CBD, Martin Place is usually a bustling thoroughfare of people in a hurry making their way to work or wherever they’re headed.

But not currently…

As people walk through Martin Place, whether leaving flowers, leaving a loving message in the condolence book for the families, or just reflecting on the sad events of last week; there’s an amazing level of love and support from complete strangers. Rather than people walking by without even noticing you because they’re too busy thinking about where they need to be, people give a “hi” and smile as you walk by. Or as people walk up to the barriers surrounding the flower memorial, people recognise your presence and give you a comforting smile and happily move over to give you room.

Even though there’s so many people around Martin Place, quite close to the busiest I’ve ever seen it actually, but at the same time it’s so still and silent. I looked around at the time and noticed how quiet it was, considering the amount of people standing around, it was beautiful really.

Walking through the sea of tributes and leaving my love and sympathy in the condolence book, it brought home for me how amazing the vast majority of people are. Seeing thousands upon thousands of people mourning and remembering people they never met, the community spirit was something special.

The chaplains wandering around checking on people and handing out much needed tissues were such a support too. Even if you weren’t noticeably upset, they’d walk by and greet you with “hi, how are you?” and intently listen to anything you said in response. It was evident they made a huge difference to a lot of people.

I’m so proud of the way this memorial has turned into something so special. The worst circumstances really does bring out the best in people.

And to Tori and Katrina, may you always be in all of our hearts. RIP. My thoughts and love are with their families and everyone else affected.

#KellsWritingChallenge Day 10: Xmas Tree

To me, Xmas trees are like people. They come in a wide variety, just like the human race.

Some are old and clearly have seen better days, while others are looking like it’s their first christmas.

They come in a range of colours and styles too. Some are the traditional green and 6 foot tall. Others are tall and silver, or white. While others are a little shorter. Some are even that small that they need to be put on a table!

Then there’s the decorations…

Some are clearly very organised and have a distinct colour theme. While there’s others that are decorated with anything and everything! Sort of like, a look back on the tree owners life, if you like. Ranging from decorations made by the children at school, to a wide variety of baubles coming in all the colours and sizes imaginable. The tinsel is also varied in colour and size.

Some are almost like a work of art with no branch out of place. These trees are often placed in a position by which the tree can be admired by those in the room. Other trees are works of art in a different way. Like an abstract artwork. You squint and try and decipher the theme of the tree, but all you can manage is to agree on its beauty.

That is why I believe Xmas trees are like people! 🙂

#KellsWritingChallenge Day 9: Roller Coaster

Not to be cliche, but everyone knows the saying ‘life is like a roller coaster – it has ups and downs’. In my opinion though, it’s actually quite accurate.

The metaphor can be taken further; life is like working hard to earn the money for the admission ticket to the amusement park where the roller coaster is located – which is more expensive than it’s probably worth.

Going back to life, there are many hours put into the mundane routine of life, working and building up the series of skills required to follow your dreams. Then, you can enter the area of the amusement park where the roller coasters are.

Then, once you’ve earned the money to enter the amusement park and learnt the skills required to ride the roller coasters, you look around deciding which roller coaster you want to choose. Or, in life, choosing the career path you want to take. You make decisions about which roller coaster line your friends are in, or which roller coaster has the shortest (or longest) queue; or which one looks fun from where the spectators stand (because that’s the only view you have from the outside!) Sometimes you’ll be in queues alone, and other times you’ll have your friends.

Maybe the roller coasters with shorter queues (less popular choices) might be more closely aligned with your individual skill sets. Or other times, the roller coasters with longer queues will be well worth the wait.

Life is like climbing onto that roller coaster and feeling the excitement and fear of what is ahead. Not knowing exactly what’s coming, but knowing you’re in for a ride none-the-less. You’re sitting in the roller coaster at the top, suddenly, the thoughts of “holy sh*t what have I got myself in to!?!?!?!?!?”

The roller coaster suddenly takes off…life is then full of twists, turns, drops and rises as you race along the path of life.

Some moments you regret riding this particular roller coaster, sometimes you’re unsure if you’ll survive and all you can make out is the blur as the surroundings speed by. Then, other times, you’ll have moments of sheer enjoyment and happiness and you think that the roller coaster is too good to be true and you’re already wanting to rejoin the queue once you step off.

Then, without any word of warning, the roller coaster is over.

Thinking of this, the roller coaster which is life is over without warning and often too soon. We should enjoy the ride and try and have less moments of regret and fear, and fill it with moments of pure roller coaster riding joy.

#KellsWritingChallenge Day 8: Best ever

This post was postponed yesterday with the events in Sydney. Today, I felt I’d write what I felt I needed to say.

My thoughts, prayers and love today are with everyone affected yesterday.

Best Ever…
Loved ones are the best ever.
As is spending time with those nearest and dearest;
their unending love and support.
That’s the best ever.

Knowing your family and friends are nearby and safe.
Having them home at night and giving them hugs and saying you love them.
Being able to sit, talk and know that your inner circle is just as it should be.
That’s the best ever.

#KellsWritingChallenge Day 7: The high road…

A continuation of my fiction piece about young Patricia which was posted for the Day 4 prompt (There’s no time like the present)…

While Patricia was thankful she took the chance and met up with her Biological father even though she had been told that he wasn’t worth her time or energy, she couldn’t help but reflect on her journey to making that decision and the path she took to give him that opportunity.

Patricia prides herself on being someone who likes to make decisions based on her own thoughts and these decisions aren’t often based on the word of others. It took her until her mid-20s to realise that her previous choice to keep her biological father out of her life had been entirely determined by the people around her through her childhood. This was enough, Patricia thought. ‘I have to take a stand and, at least find out where I came from and who the man is who aided in the creation of me!’

She considered mentioning it to her mother, but soon came to realise that she’d only be discouraged. So she spoke it through with her good friend, Eleanor. Eleanor is someone she considers to be a big sister and trusts with her life. She knows Eleanor will encourage the choice that is truly in the best interests of Patricia and anything Patricia says will always be free of judgement and will never be spread to anyone else.

After many discussions, and a few moments where all she could do was cry because of all the confused feelings, it was decided that Patricia felt she had to take the high road and be the bigger person. She had to put her thoughts on everything her mum had told her aside and be the person that gives her biological father the chance to explain himself. The chance she wouldn’t even consider denying anyone else.

In discovering Patricia’s plan, a few people told her it was a bad idea and she should change her mind now before she got hurt. But Patricia stood firm and stuck to the high road she knew she had to, and wanted to take.

But then she got thinking, and wondered why the high road is often an unpopular decision. Growing up, Patricia was always taught to be a good person and to be nice to people. But clearly this life lesson excluded her biological father.

Upon taking a huge leap of faith and giving him the opportunity to explain the situation on why he wasn’t in her life, Patricia realised that, once again, the high road was the best decision. In the months following Patricia getting to know her biological father, she realised that not only is he not the worthless, nasty, arrogant man she was told he was, but Patricia shares a lot of his traits and personality. She is a lot like her father and never even knew it! This brought about a sense of belonging for Patricia – one that she never had previously. She told him that the path she took to choosing the high road and making that contact wasn’t a popular choice among some of her family members but she didn’t care. Patricia ended this particular discussion with her biological father with these words “I’m glad I decided to do this!” With that, her biological father smiled and excused himself saying he needed the bathroom, but Patricia caught his eye contact in that moment and his eyes were filling with emotion. He was equally as thankful but hearing it from Patricia was all he needed to make over 20yrs without her all ok again.

Taking the high road, being the better person than those around her and taking a chance gave Patricia and her biological father something they both never expected – the chance to get to know each other. They both know the high road is a long one and it doesn’t mean an automatic father/daughter relationship, but even the chance to know one another is something special in itself. Whatever happens next is just a bonus!

Patricia learnt a valuable lesson after meeting her biological father, the high road is filled with rewards – just as long as that leap of faith is taken.

#KellsWritingChallenge Day 6: Outside

I open the backdoor and step outside and walk down the stairs. The cement is warm against my feet after being in the morning sun, but at the same time, not too hot.

There’s suddenly a cool breeze that sweeps past. It may be the perfect day – cool breeze keeping the temperature comfortable, but at the same time, the sun is providing the summery warmth that December is known for.

I get down to the grassed section of the yard, I find a spot in the sun and look down at my shadow…in that moment, I’m standing there with bare feet in the grass grounding myself and getting back to the fresh, natural outdoors.

#KellsWritingChallenge Day 5: If only…

It’s a short reflective one today, folks. I’m not even sure what you’d call it. It definitely doesn’t rhyme and it’s not really a fiction piece, so we’ll just call it a reflection on the world that is.

‘If Only…’
If only…there was a cure for Cancer. Good people wouldn’t have left this world long before their time.
If only…our last discussion hadn’t ended with “It’s a surprise, I’ll tell you tomorrow”.
If only…the world was a fair, just place.
If only…people didn’t suffer unnecessarily.
If only…things we know in hindsight were also known in foresight.
If only…

#KellsWritingChallenge Day 4: There’s no time like the present

A piece of fiction for days post. Enjoy…

Young Patricia grew up with her mum and stepdad. Throughout her young years, she was constantly told about the nasty things her biological father said while he was with her mum. He truly sounded like a nasty man.

She grew up hating him and vowing to never have anything to do with him. He was nothing to her and her stepdad was who she considered to be her father.

This was until one day, her mother started to show her true colours and how spiteful and jealous she can really be. This made Patricia wonder about the truth behind what she heard about her biological father. She began to really wonder if he was indeed the horrible man she always believed him to be.

Talking to a friend, she realised the only way she was going to find out who her biological father really is, is to contact him. This brought about a level of fear for the unknown she was about to enter. But, she realised there’s no time like the present and the sooner she found out, the sooner she would know.

The day finally came where she was meeting with her biological father for the first time since she disliked him as a child. She was nervous, but kept repeating to herself “there’s no time like the present. There’s no time like the present…”

He was actually nice, and respectful of the boundaries she put in place to ensure she was comfortable. She had a list of questions she needed answered in a truthful way, and had specific things which were off limits – including the use of the words ‘father’, ‘daughter’ and ‘family’.

The following weeks and months consisted of further getting to know him and putting together the pieces of the story about her parents and how she came to be born.

She became thankful that she gave him the benefit of the doubt and took the present moment to get to know her biological father. Each time they chat, whether it be by text message or in-person, she considers there to be no time like the present and asks any questions she has, in order to further find out the truth in the situation.

Both Patricia and her biological father know that whatever becomes of their getting to know each other will take time, and a real father-daughter relationship may never eventuate, but they’re both grateful for whatever happens.