I must confess: Anniversaries – best and worst

October. A month that I have a love-hate relationship with. There are a few anniversaries – some that make me happy, and others make me a little sad. 

For instance, on the happy end of the scale, early October is a year since my last Gold Coast adventure. At the Gold Coast I stay with a friend who I love dearly. Her and her family, young son included, are very special to me and I love them like family. 

Currently I’m being reminded of my visit every time I go on facebook. The On This Day memories that pop up are mostly the countdown I had going in the days before my flight. The posts and photos in the background of the countdown make me smile. I see my friend’s (now) 6yr old son and his smile while he’s cuddling into me makes me smile and feel the honest love from a young child. 

The memories from times spent with my friend make me smile too. So many things happened during my visit that were some of the best parts of last year. That trip changed parts of my life for the long term…and for the better. 

The end of October however, is a different story. October 30th is my friend, Lucy’s birthday. But she lost her life in 2012. A few months short of turning 19. Cancer took her from this earth far too soon. The anniversary of her birth is a whole lot more sad when she’s no longer here. Every year it’s another year she’s not celebrated. These are years that have come and gone for me. I’ll be 25 this year. Lucy will never celebrate her 25th birthday. 

Her birthdays make me sad. Losing a friend so young is the worst thing. I wish she were her. I wish we could celebrate her birthday with her like we should be. 

Out of the mouths of babes

Sometimes children say things that really make you think. It makes you wonder why we don’t give children’s words more credit…sometimes they deserve it!

Recently I witnessed a situation where a same-sex couple (2 males) were being subject to hearing the disgust from a lady who clearly didn’t appreciate the love they have for each other. They weren’t being inappropriate, they were simply sitting together hand in hand. They had their niece with them. The lady, who I’d say was in her mid 60s was exclaiming how it’s not how things go and they should go indoors if they wanted to be abnormal. 

Nearby was a young girl, who would be about 6, and her mother. The little girl looked at the men and turned to her mum and asked if they were married because they look like they love each other. The mum said to her daughter that no they aren’t married, they do love each other, but 2 men can’t get married. The girl looked confused and asked why. Seeing as politics and the debate around same-sex marriage is too complex for such a young child, the mum simply said “the people who make the laws don’t let 2 boys or 2 girls get married”. The little girl thought for a moment, and then replied “well they are mean! If people love each other, they should all be allowed to get married”. 

This discussion went on between mother and daughter. After a little while, the 2 men came over after hearing the discussion and said hello. They told the girl that they believe one day they will be allowed to get married. To this the little girl replied “I hope so. You look like you should be married.”

It’s 2015 and a child is confused as to why marriage equality is NOT a thing. What does this say for adults in society who can’t see this?

It really should be as simple as the young girl said though, if people love each other, they should be allowed to be married. 

The saying is true though – children are often wiser than they’re given credit for and we really do need to pay attention to the things they say. As adults, it’s our responsibility to nurture children and their thoughts on the world around them. To help them grow into the adults that will one day be running our country. And if half of them are as wise and accepting as the young girl I saw, the country will be in good hands!!!

I must confess: My Competitive Side

Over at My Home Truths, there’s a weekly confession linkup. This week, we’re discussing our competitive streak. 

In short – Yes. I am competitive. 

I get competitive with myself as well as others. I always try to perform better than I did yesterday, last week, last month or last year. I use my achievements as goals to try and beat. 

But I also get competitive with others. One of my many enjoyments is watching a game of NRL. This exacerbates my competitiveness and I shout and cheer and get a little too excited. If my team wins, people hear me! If my team lose, I can be heard too – either cheering if they tried hard, or loudly discussing moments throughout the game that we mightn’t agree with or like. 

Within my inner circles, I can be competitive too. Two of my friends – let’s call them Batman and Tinkerbell, we often play games, whether it be a boardgame or card game. I tend to get slightly competitive. It’s not the first time I’ve called Tinkerbell a bitch if she bought a property I wanted in Monopoly or if I have to pay her rent. Batman doesn’t escape easily either. I have called him an asshole on occasion.  

If we let our inner children out and play snap, we have been known to get a little rough. My fingernails are my greatest asset. I’m not afraid of getting in there, even though I may scratch someone in doing so. Of course though, it is all in harmless fun. We all apologise and hug it out in the end and it is all in the name of fun.

Truth be told though, Tinkerbell and Batman are just as competitive as I am, so I fit in well. 

Mentors aren’t always physically by your side.

I read an article this morning that stuck with me all day. The author spoke about the mentor they had when starting out their career. Except, the article author never met this mentor. Ever. 

It got me thinking about the people who’ve impacted my career. I too have people who I could call mentors who I’ve never met. Well, not physically anyway. People I’ve connected with on social media who have taught me so much. The conversations we have, I walk away having learnt something; whether it be something theoretical, a life lesson or a fun fact. 

One person in particular, I’ve never met her (she’s in England!) but she’s taught me so much. I’ve even had the opportunity on a few occasions to do some small jobs with her. Having the opportunity to discuss specific, real life situations was invaluable. Seeing these situations and getting insights into how she runs her business was nothing short of amazing. The chance to pick her brain was worth more to me than anything. All this from someone half a world away. 

With the popularity of the Internet and social media, connecting with business people who are outside of your immediate geographic location has never been easier. This only amplifies the opportunity to learn from people in other countries (or even hemispheres!!). At the time, I had no idea about the extent of the impact this would make, but looking back, I realise just how lucky I am to have connected with some incredibly knowledgable (and lovely) people. People who I respect and look up to professionally…and they’re willing to chat and pass their insights on to me!  

Friends: The greatest of gifts

i read a post by Sammie over at The Annoyed Thyroid today about her friends and the long goodbyes at the airport when she leaves her UK friends to come back to Australia. It got me thinking a lot about my best friends. 

I’m lucky enough to have the most amazing friends; some near, some far. But they’re all the very best! 

My friends that live close by, I don’t know what I’d do without them. They are my rock, my company and my sounding board for all my crazy ideas! We stay up late playing boardgames and having a takeaway dinner (so there’s more time for playing. Naturally!). They’re my cheersquad, but also my shoulder to cry on. Nothing is too much to ask them. And that’s just two people I’m thinking of there! They have nicknames. They are Batman and Tinkerbell. And I wouldn’t be who I am today without them! 

Some of my other friends who live close by, we have a very different friendship. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve seen the worst in situations, but always seen the best in each other. Through all the trying times, we’ve never said a harsh word to each other. Never snapped in a moment of emotion and feel more like family than anything. Her beautiful twin girls call me Aunty Nat…they love me, and I love them. We aren’t biological family, but that’s ok. To us, we are family. 

Then there’s my interstate friends. Not quite close enough geographically to visit regularly, but that makes the visits we do get extra special. One of my interstate friends, her son calls me Aunty Nat too. And it’s the cutest thing! He does it so lovingly, “I love you Aunty Nat”. It’s moments like that which melt your heart. When I visit, airport goodbyes are the hardest part. I’ve been known to manage the hugs without (too much) emotion, but walking through the gate to the aeroplane as they walk away…there are always tears. Flight attendants pass me tissues with the comment “leaving someone you love behind, are you?” I nod and thank them for the tissue. 

One of my other interstate friends, we’ve been through a lot together too. She’s always been there for me and we always have a laugh. She’s known me since high school and basically seen me grow into a young adult and face the challenges of life. Every step of the way she’s been there.

And lastly there’s a very special type of friend. The international friend. Yep, she’s in the USA. We talk when I wake up and right before bed. Timezones make me miss her during the day, but she does need sleep. We can’t easily visit each other, so we send parcels and skype when we can. We laugh at our accent differences, and any slang terms that get lost in translation between our two countries. Australian slang doesn’t always get understood by Americans! We learnt that the hard way. A few times. 

Thanks for the inspiration Sammie! I am lucky enough to have some of the very best friends in the world. Some are near and some are far, but they’re all special and bring so much to my life. 

Dry July: Week 1

The first week of Dry July is done! A week over, 23 days to go!

Not only am I alcohol free this July, I’m spending Dry July caffeine free too. For over a week, I haven’t had an alcoholic drink or a coffee!! Yes, you read that right, no coffee in a week! No wine either.

In the first 4 days of July, I had 3 social events. So it was quite the welcoming to Dry July! I went at it at full speed. And after week 1, I’m going strong!

I think my passion for doing this in Lucy’s honour keeps me going. I’m doing this for Lucy and her memory keeps me focused on getting through.

Lucy, my dear, week 1 is done! I’m doing this for you, my girl. xx

If you’d like to donate, you can see my fundraising page by clicking here

I must confess….where I blog!

There’s a weekly linkup over at My Home Truths where each week comes with a prompt for things to ‘confess’. Occasionally, when the mood strikes, and when I like the prompt, I join in. Today we’re confessing where we blog.

I have 2 regular places I sit to blog. 

The first of which, is the couch. I sit on the end of the couch, using the arm rest as an iPad table and a cushion on my lap…because I like cushions! I have the tv on – either something silly that doesn’t require too much attention, or I just have music playing. 

  
The couch is good, because it’s comfortable and has both the heater and the air con…so regardless what season it is, the room can be a comfortable temperature. And as long as I’m not wearing shoes, I can put my feet up on the cushion next to me and curl up! Comfort is conducive to good writing, I think! 

The second of which, is outdoors. It’s a lookout up the top of a local mountain. 

  
A view like that, and the fresh air is always inspiration for whatever I’m trying to write. There’s areas with picnic tables and bench seats set up, so working there is made easier with the facilities on offer. But, in winter it does get quite cold! And through the day, particularly on weekends, it does get busy with tourists and families, so the level of zen does drop. But mid week in the warmer months (or with the help of a hoodie and a scarf) it is my favourite place to write.  

Writing prompt: A fiction piece

I found a writing prompt online, and I’m feeling creative tonight, so here’s a fiction piece based on the prompt. The prompt is: “Write about someone who’s just tired of everything and finds a positive way to deal with it”

My name is Jacinta. And recently I’m tired of everything. People have been finding stupid reasons to complain about who I am, and trying to mould me into the type of person they would like me to be. I’m over it. I’m tired of not feeling appreciated for who I am, afterall, I am a good person. 

I’m also tired of things not going my way at work – everything really is against me at the moment. Targets are within reach, but not achieved and deadlines are looming. Add this to the constant battle on a personal level, I’m tired of how everything is going at the moment. I want to escape reality and hide away from the world for a moment.

But, as that’s not really all too realistic – I have too many commitments here (work, family etc), I’ve turned to writing. I created a blog and a pseudonym and vented all my frustrations. It began as just that – me safely venting my thoughts and feelings behind my pseudonym so that no one would know my identity. That’s how I felt safe. People who were reading knew me as my writing name, and the people in my life who were making me feel this way, never read anything I write. 

In time, I developed a little fan base on my blog too. Regulars who would come and go so that they could keep up with my posts, and they even leave encouraging comments. Those comments are little moments where I’m reminded that even when everything seems to be going against me, there’s always someone willing to cheer me on! Suddenly there were people who were supporting the real me! 

So I continued to write. I even outed myself and revealed my real name. The pseudonym is long gone. I am totally true to myself. 

Not long ago though, my whole life changed for the better. I got an email asking if I’d like to write on a public forum. I was offered a spot in a book which is a compilation of bloggers and their favourite pieces! The dream of a lifetime! Now the biggest challenge is to select what piece is my favourite…

T minus 23 days…

23 days. That’s how many days are remaining until July 1st. 

July 1st marks the beginning of Dry July. A month long fundraiser to raise money for adults dealing with Cancer. Dry July involves staying “dry” and alcohol free for the 31 days in July. 

  
However, I’ve furthered my personal challenge. Not only am I going alcohol free, I’ll also be caffeine free for 31 days! No caffeine and no alcohol to raise as much money as I can for those living with Cancer. No wine, no tea, no coffee (not even decaf), no caffeinated soft drinks and no chocolate….for 31 days. 

The cause is close to my heart. I’m doing Dry July in memory of my friend Lucy. In 2012, she lost her battle with thyroid cancer. She fought so hard, but after a long and hard battle, with 2 other friends and myself by her side, she passed away and left behind her legacy – the memories and the inspiration my friends and I get every day from the young lady Lucy was. She inspires me daily, to be a better person; a stronger person; and to live a fulfilled life. 

Lucy, my sweet girl, Dry July 2015 is for you! 

And for those of you who would like to donate to my Dry July, you can so by clicking just here. If you aren’t in a position financially to donate, please do share this post and my fundraiser across your social networks. That support means the world! Thank you everyone!

Be different. Be weird. What is normal?

I read this post by my friend Sam earlier this evening. It prompted some serious thinking. 

The timing of Sam’s post is quite good, because earlier today I had a discussion with 2 friends of mine (let’s call them Batman and Tinkerbell) about this exact thought – what is normal, and why should we all embrace our differences? My friend “Tinkerbell” said it perfectly today, she told me that my normal is different than her normal and her normal is different to that of anyone else. 

  
I tend to agree. Our individual normal is who we are as people…deep down inside. This includes our quirks. In this sense, the differences in our individual quirks are important in maintaining individuality. 

Individuality is awesome. The little things that make each of us different, and even slightly weird, is what comes together and ultimately makes us, us! There’s beauty in being unapologetically real, it shows who we really are and what is important to our most inner self.

I leave you with a quote from Albert Einstein – “It is important to foster individuality, for only the individual can produce the new ideas.”